I made this website in 2013, shortly after graduating from college.
Has it been five years?
I made this website while living in Shanghai for the first time.
And now I am back in China, in Beijing, this time.
I realized my last blog update placed me in Tokyo, which once was true, and so it struck me that I should update this. It strikes me that this blog and this site doesn’t get as much of my love as it should. But since I started it and posted the first couple stories, I feel like I have gone into a long incubation, a long jog of reeducation. But I’m as much an artist and writer as I ever was. I just no longer have the need to prove it to myself.
Maybe I will indulge in this post, as I never do. Maybe I will actually post this, rather than privately scribble in my notebooks, and let it be a cringeworthy testament.
Here, stranger, is what I want to say to you:
- I probably like you, even if I don’t.
- I want you to think I am intelligent, because it is the basis of my pride, and I will feign all sorts of stoicism in order to avoid being wrong.
- I am awful at small talk, and therefore I dislike it.
- Though I appear stiff and serious, this is far from the truth.
- If you have something to say, I will listen to you for a long time.
- Though this may sound like performance, every word is true. The point of my style is to find just how far we can open ourselves and how much that gets us. More and more I feel that I am trying to part a fluid that fills itself in.
- I position myself at the point where rationality circles back around to become spiritual.
- My spirit animal is Gregor Samsa.